Random, funny, or just dam right weird news of the week.

Random, funny, or just dam right weird news of the week.

In this section I will bring together a few of the stories which I found across the Internet that got me thinking "How the hell?" or "ha ha" or "sound's like something I would do"

We start our first story in a Dutch prison..now before you start thinking "woah Stewart what the hell?! I thought this was supposed to be funny, not about some crazy knife wielding psycho!" I'm getting to it give me a chance. Anyway, so we are in a Dutch Prison in Breda, Southern Netherlands. The convict, a 35 year old woman decided she clearly didn't want to serve her time locked up after she was held over an "unspecified violent crime" Don't you just love that, the fact it's unspecified, either it was too gruesome to publish or they don't know if she committed the crime. To me most justice systems seem to "over complicate the matter" I bet I could easily solve it, it was colonel mustard, in the library with a candlestick. See how hard is that?..Anyway where were I, ah right, yes, the women clearly was a criminal of the highest caliber and decided to break out...not so much break out than dig...and I use the term dig loosely. The fact this women decided to dig herself out of the prison must require knowledge, determination and a spoon. Yes that's right she dug her way out with a spoon. Correct me if Im wrong, but I think she must have seen The Shawshank Redemption and thought, what a GENIUS PLAN! It is still said that she is on the run. Seriously though these films should come with a don't try this at home/or in prison. I mean the amount of films Iv seen, if they had any direct affect over influencing my actions..lets just say id be some weird crossed bread, boxing doll wizard lycan robot chicken mouse fish thing.. that's suffers from schizophrenia and has a habit of falling down stairs a lot..that's the problem with being part fish, it's a whole new environment you see, also that it's a doll too.

My next funny clippet is about a certain gifted individual who can distinguish between different hoovers, purely based on sound alone! What's probably more interesting (more than the story itself) is his name is James Brown.
He does this specific skill by being blindfolded first then a getting someone to turn the hoovers on. Iv heard the recording myself of him carrying this out it's, somewhat different. He goes int great detail about each model. If you too have a hoover addiction you might want to watch this clip I found on youtube, it may help. And remember, your not alone aha, actually no you are. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8D8aVKp3Wo

This next story has you saying to yourself "What the hell were you thinking?!" A 62 year old man was driving his lorry, unfortunately along his journey he found a mechanical failure which then led to him breaking down. Luckily the sharp minded man decided to use a trick up his sleeve, he got his horse to tow his truck. Yes that's right he tied the tow rope up to the horse in hope the horse would guide him on his way. Only difficulty with this being, the man had drunk so much that he was unable to steer the heavy lorry and steered it into the path of an oncoming vehicle. The lorry was then tippled onto it's side. Luckily for both occupants of the vehicles (including the horse) remained uninjured.
The man was reported to have started yelling at the horse saying "This is all your fault!!"
He was later charged with animal cruelty and being intoxicated whilst at the wheel.
I often wonder to myself how people like this come up with these ideas? Maybe he mixed up the horse tranquilizer...
I'm going to stop writing now In dyer need of some sleep, peace out and have a great week don't forget to add me on Facebook.